Are Routines Good for Babies?
When my first baby was 3-months old, I had him out with me at a club in Spain… Yep! Well we thought it was just a restaurant… but it turned into a club at 10pm, eeek!
That was a turning point for me - my husband and I looked at each other through the deep bass and rhythm of the blaring music, and seemingly had the same thought - what are we doing out this late with our young baby??
If you’re a new(er) parent or are expecting your first baby, you may be thinking something similar - I don’t want to have my baby on a strict routine. I just want to go with the flow!
Yes, I’ve been there too! I didn’t want my life to change just because we were adding a baby into the mix. I didn’t want to stop traveling. I didn’t want to stop doing this or that just because I had a baby. But I quickly learned that it didn’t really serve us - or our baby - well.
I didn’t think I needed to have my baby on a routine until he was three months or older. I wanted to respond immediately to his needs and this worked for a time, until I realised I didn’t really know what it was that he needed. I didn’t know if he was hungry or not. I was feeding him around the clock.
This caused me to become his biggest sleep association. So, not only could I not identify what he really needed, but we also made some unnecessary habits :(
When your baby is young, say, younger than 6 months, you don’t need a strict schedule. What you need is a rhythm to your days and night; a loose and flexible routine.
I wish I would have known that back then. I certainly wouldn’t have had my baby at the club late at night - in fact, he would have (should have!) been in bed sleeping three hours earlier!
Why Routines are Important for Babies and Toddlers
Having the baby in a routine doesn’t mean you’re not going to fullfil their needs; it’s actually the opposite - you’re providing structure to their needs and anticipate what they need next.
According to Dr. Jane Neinig and Jennifer Banuelos of Secrets of Baby Behavior, and as well as personal anecdotal observations, “by six to eight weeks, babies show clear signs that they can predict what will happen during feeding, social, and naptime routines.”
Think about it - do you ever observe the following?
Your baby cooing with excitement when they realise you’re about to give them your breast or a bottle?
Your baby fussing and avoiding a nappy change?
As you sleep train your baby starts to cry when you walk into their bedroom because they’re making this association? (Don’t worry - this passes fairly quickly, but it’s a sign that your efforts are working!)
They’re showing you that they recognise the patterns of the routine!
“I’d highly recommend, if it’s possible, to follow an eat-play-sleep routine throughout each day with your baby. Having this rhythm to your baby’s day will provide predictability as well as a feeling of safety and security because over time, your little one begins to understand what will happen next.”
So, feed your baby upon waking for the day. Then have some “play” time. For young babies, this might look like a few minutes of tummy time, looking at the pictures in a book, or simply staring into your eyes. Before you know it, it’s time for a nap! Then, you repeat this cycle throughout their day. Eat. Play. Sleep. Repeat.
From day one, you can also do a small and simple bedtime and nap time routine: Change your baby’s diaper, swaddle them up, give them a few snuggles, and then it’s time to sleep! It’s really as simple as that. There are multiple benefits to having a predictable bedtime routine for your child.
In a 2017 study, Dr. Jodi Mindell et al. presented a conceptual model and provides empirical evidence that supports a nightly bedtime routine, benefitting children’s sleep and other development and wellbeing in the early childhood years:
“Research has demonstrated that engaging in a regular bedtime routine is particularly beneficial for multiple aspects of early childhood sleep. Cross-sectional, longitudinal, and intervention studies, have provided robust evidence that following a bedtime routine is associated with a number of positive sleep outcomes, including an earlier bedtime, decreased sleep onset latency, reduced nighttime awakenings, increased sleep duration, and enhanced caregiver-reported sleep quality.
In opposition, there is a correlation between the absence of or the disruption of a bedtime routine and increased night wakings.
Not only does a consistent and predictable bedtime routine improve sleep outcomes, but also more broad domains within the development and wellbeing of the child and family:
“As noted above, we hypothesize that having a bedtime routine has benefits beyond improved sleep, including the broad domains of child mood and emotional–behavioral regulation, parent and family stress/functioning, and child literacy-related outcomes.”
I can speak to this notion from a personal perspective. After implementing a routine with my son after he was 3-months old, he was much happier. It was easier for me to identify what he needed! After he ate, I knew he wasn’t hungry. After a bit of “play” time he would begin to fuss. I knew since he had recently eaten, he was probably just tired. A quick nap routine and *poof* he would sleep. He’d wake and we’d do it all again. It had been a few hours since he ate, so I would feed him, we would “play” and then he would be ready for another nap.
The predictability of this routine gave us allowed me to identify his needs and ultimately led to a stronger and more intimate connection with my baby.
I get it, it can feel daunting starting with a routine. But it actually can be a very smooth process. The baby, following an age-appropriate routine, will get it very quickly and very smoothly. And, if not, contact me for a quick chat to see how I can help you and your family.
